Our mission.Posted: March 16, 2011
Let’s play a game. I’m going to name a historical figure, and I want you to say one thing that makes that person historically significant and one thing that makes them interesting. And I mean interesting. (If you want an example, usually “interesting” things were the ones that made the cool dudes in your high school history classes laugh and high-five in the back row. So keep that in mind).
Okay. Here it goes:
Historical significance: BFD in the birth of America blah blah blah.
Interesting fact: DUDE HE BONED ONE OF HIS SLAVES RIGHT?!
Historical significance: Another colonial BFD; also invented all kinds of useful shit.
Interesting fact: DUDE HE BONED LOTS OF FRENCH WOMEN RIGHT?!
Historical significance: Economic expansion & welfare reform & budget surplus.
Interesting fact: DUDE MY BOY GOT A BLOWJ IN THE OVAL OFFICE!!!!!1
And those are just Americans! Think about all the voyeuristic European motherfuckers who have gotten some, inadvertently making history sexy.
Clearly there’s a common denominator here. Sex is interesting. And man, were people having some scandalous sex back in the day (“the day” being a euphemistic and noncommittal term for “history”).
So that’s why this blog exists. My co-bloggers and I are nerds. And according to cultural stereotypes, nerd hobbies include thinking about sex and enjoying the past in their free time (see Civil War reenactors), so in our minds, a + b = an excellent blog idea.
But math isn’t our forte. Only humanities majors would waste time and/or enjoy researching historical lays. Basically, we’re combing the annals (anals? lolz) for the most shocking, the most titillating (tit, hehe), the most fascinating sex scandals on record. There will be illustrations, there will be facts, but most importantly, there will be sex.
We’re doing (hahah DOING) this because we love stories of the past, and we want you to love them too. For all the breast reasons.
Oops. History just got real interesting.