SEARCH TERM REFERRALS 5: TOKYO DRIFT

WELCOME, SCANDALITES, to the FIFTH edition of Search Term Referrals! We’ve been neglecting you, we know. So we thought it was only right to bring you what has become our pedigree: the fucking weirdass shit people type into Google that gets them to our humble blog.

a motswana pussy — And I motswana penis.

mulan sex scandal — Shut. Up. Mulan has never done anything wrong. Ever.

teen slut meme

picture of margaret campbell fellating a naked man — When you find that, send it to us.

la vita dolce schandaal

la dolce vita schandaal

schandaal la dolce vita — The Holy Trinity.

adriana ivancich not even pretty — I have this theory that if you cut off all her hair she’d look like a British man.

michael jordan today –Organizing a round robin charity classic with the Monstars, hopefully.

the most beautiful world is like a dungheap, rudely dumped — This person is a fucking poet.

it girl anal — I mean, if it’s in, it’s in, AMIRITE??

anal sex doing it wrong — Excuse you, we only trade in perfection on this blog. Just head on over to The Daily Mail, thank you very much.

for shame blog — This might have been LHB, Googling the blog at work.

preteen panties — No thanks, that’s not our size.

who did emperor lu zhi tortured — More like who didn’t she tortured! (Also, I think it’s “Empress.”)

dave chappelles fitted robin hood hat This one?

slutty halloween girl — As though there’s another kind of Halloween girl.

clipart italy men — If they feature unironic mustaches, stained wifebeaters, and pizzas in mid-toss, then sure, we’re on board.

les orgie de Caligula — Tu es venu le correct blog.

sucking zb it brother fame sexy+18

http://www.sana bloch sexy scandles.com — Naturally this one has inspired us to start developing a line of “scandles” (candles molded into the shape of Anne Boelyn, obviously).

antinous ass sculpture — Everyone:  treat yourself and google this term ASAP.

lucrezia borgia’s boobs — They’re not here. They’re on Showtime Sunday evenings at 10 PM EST.

let the hunger games begin gif

frederick douglass american badass — YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT HE WAS.

bone daddy’s restaurant — I want to go to there.

father hot son. she sex — Who’s doing whatnow?

the tudors henry vlll fucks charles — For some reason, the immediate imagine which jumped to my (JAF) mind was Jonathan Rhys Meyers getting it on with Charles Bukowski. Don’t ask me why. Please don’t.

lederhosen cartoon

helen pitts frederick douglass’s hair that mane — I think we all wanted this one to continue with “that fucking mane.”

jizz age — Yeah, from what I hear, Baz Lurhmann’s got a bit of a mess on his hands.

i love wearing tights and sword — Errol Flynn, did MRG’s post resurrect you?? If so, will you sleep with us even though we’re not underage????/?

carlton fresh prince sweater vest — You welcome.

very nice shames lisibian fucking — Is the shame very nice, or the lisibian fucking? Or just the nice lisibians? Or is it shame fucking? You have to give us more to go on, internet troll!

bert macklin and janet snakehole — A love story for the ages.

18th century lady seduced by maid epoch porn — *War and Peace

native indian women fucks shit out of horse — LITERALLY? Ew. Figuratively, turns out also EW.

feydeau bitch painter — As opposed to Feydeau’s first vocation of horse whisperer.

http://www.super big aunty fuck scandal low quality.com — I like this guy because he knows what he wants, but he’s not greedy.

flapper girls slut shaming — All those ankles and shoulders and collarbones showing, MY GOD.

levar burton sex scandal — We. Want. IN.

sex titanic — Best/Worst Cruise theme, 2013.

men fucking outdoors rugged — Yes, please.  Where?  Show us. Show us now.

1920s lesbian the ballerina — Ah, Lesbian the Ballerina. A legend of the stage. Pioneer of the flannel tutu.

taylor lautner topless — Enh, he’s no Dame Helen.

nudist preteens mrg — WOAH MRG HERE TOTALLY GROSSED OUT YIKES WOW YUCK BLERG

phillies and eddie fucking

anne boelyn strong women — Duh.

syphilisse sur penis — Oui, et dans la penis, et sous la penis, et partout la penis.  Fair attention, mes amis.  La Syhilisse va ruiner votre Penis.

woman fuck with giboon

medival way to publicly shame someone Speaking with the knowledge born of a nearly-completed degree in The Medieval Times™, I, JAF, can safely say I have no idea. But the surest way, in my mind, to publicly shame yourself is to misspell “medieval.”

logo calzone — MRG’s ancient Italian family seal.

pirate sexy shit for woman — Let it go, Keira, let it go.

crown brand new fucking abuse movie — Hey, watch it. Don’t sully the proud brand of Crown (Royal). They give you a velvet pouch with every bottle. Think of all the stuff you can keep in there!

scandalous blow jobs — The BEST kind of blow job.

my illegitimate daughter is sexy — Oh for fuck’s sake.

ur a real bitch — Well, fuck you.  Or “u,” apparently.

is jane seymour a real bitch? — No, she was like the nicest bitch ever, fuck you.  Oh, do you mean that slut who judges Iron Chef all the time?  In that case, yeah, probably.

charlie chaplin orgies — Obviously orgies in which everyone wears a Furher stache, brings a cane, and DOESN’T TALK.

anne borthwick took an axe — Close enough.

cute girl naked sketch titanic –I think you’ll find this is much more satisfying.

archer narnia — Not even Sterling could never survive in that danger zone.

i want her to enjoy ma corn in her pussy,to d extense dat she wil weep — Theres…just…so…much…here.

google.kiss sex you tobel

erotic costume dramas — You say that as though there are other film genres.

empress theodora leda and the swan explicit details — Swansplicit.

leda and the swan where did the goose eat the barley from — You’re not ready.

crazy and dirty things for money king sexy — Money King Sexy is our new rapper name.

hey, i liked it because i’m a quality blog so it’s not my type but you guys are really good tho & i like your hair and your friend’s sweater. i like your version better just saying #sorrynotsorry hahah — How did you find our super secret off-limitz blog diary (bliary)? We wrote that when we were just a mere teenblog, don’t judge us.

without full dress for boys and girls after mrg sexy video — MRG, GO, RUN, HIDE, WE’LL CALL HELP.

history of sex fucking photo graphic

define mare of flanders — She has a name, thank you! It’s Man of Cleves.

marie antoinette grass — The horticultural sensation that’s sweeping the heads off the nation.

is oskar kokoshka on hey arnold jewish — You had to ask the internet for that one?

family photos of teresa giudice — Try Bravo, tonight at All The Time.

mens wear tights — It’s 2013, get over it.

how to draw benjamin franklin cartoon — Step 1: draw an oval for the head. Step 2: draw a rhombus for the kite. Step 3: draw shame and regret for a lifetime of infidelity and venereal diseases.

ron,hermione si harry — Sure, senor.

ladyhamiltonmenageatrois — Tothepoint. Ilikeit,

hot shame panties — Ain’t no shame in a little undergarment.

robin wearing pantyhose — Scherbatsky’s a lady. She never leave home anything less than respectable.

did henry viii have a small penis — Can’t there be some mystery left in life? (but no, probably not)

apush exam is coming memes — LHB’s your woman on the front line for that one.

mercedes de acosta’s accident with eye wash — WHAT, NOPE, DON’T KNOW, DON’T WANT TO KNOW, EYES, NOPE, AAAAHHHHhhhhhhhhhh.

horze fuk lady — goozdnyght, frrndz.

LHB, MRG, KAB, JAF.


Search Term Referrals: Part Drei.

In one of the great paradoxes of our time, we here at For Shame! seem to find it far easier to crank out utterly hilarious and brilliantly lewd stories of ye olde sex times when we have the crushing pressure of academia surrounding us, rather than now, during a blissful book-learning interlude, in which the most challenging things we’ve been reading are unintentionally funny youtube comment-wars on largely benign videos and picture-based interviews with Michael Fassbender. Is this because we’re gluttons for punishment? Is this because we’re lazy and feel we don’t have to do anything for the internet when we also don’t have to do anything for ‘the real world?’ Is this because we’re just motherfucking enjoying our motherfucking break and watching shitloads of Bravo until our motherfucking brains drip out our ears? It’s a toss-up.

But in the spirit of not totally dropping off the face of the blogosphere, we’re providing you with another dose of paradox: a search-terms post. You love ’em, they take almost no effort on our part, so whatever. Why work hard at this point? Work will happen soon enough, and things like ‘theses,’ and ‘lectures,’ and ‘recreational adderall,’ will make our brains drip out our ears, not Patti Stanger.

what a wonderful world this would be – if this blog got really famous and the three of us never had to worry about anything ever again.

skin tight jeans giving head – I guess if they’re tight enough…

why don’t i know about john ruskin – Because you’re not MRG.

ben franklin beaver hat – I want one.

shame of adultery – Ranked on the shame scale between the ‘shame of catholicism’ and the ‘shame of leaving half a centimeter of milk in the bottom of the carton then putting it back in the fridge.’

ezra pound big cock – I wonder if this person wanted to know if Ezra Pound had a large penis or if he was sort of a grumpy jerk.

did lillie langtry like to fuck – I don’t know.  Probably.  Don’t you?

inglourious basterds restaurant goebbels sex scene gif – Sorry we didn’t provide you with this (even though it’s not a gif, i know)

drawings of hearts with fire – The new chainsaw art.

what did lucius malfoy do that was so shameful – WELL FOR STARTERS he treated Dobby like shit. And he worked actively for the destruction of peace and happiness in the wizarding world. And he also killed Heath Ledger in The Patriot. I’d say those are the three biggies.

bestest sex story in hindi – This request came from our favoritest reader.

red sores on tip of penis – Oh fuck. We’re a lot of things, but we’re not WebMD.

prince albert gangbang  – In a can.

hot wet hore – Bitch, we don’t make spelling mistakes like that.

henry, why didn’t you like this? i will like it when you give me a male heir. also, liking your own status is tacky, everyone knows that – This one speaks for itself, I think.

classic six wives of henry viii porn – Sure, this guy wants to watch porn. But he wants to watch classic, historical porn. That’s a catch, ladies.

did anne bolynne give henry the 8th a blowjob – Yeah, probably.  I mean, she lived in France for a while, didn’t she?

example of bromance Too many to count.

sex titanic – 2012’s most popular honeymoon theme.

makemefierce porn – No, make ME fierce!

hey baby want some adame west penis – As in Adam West, the thespian famous for his brilliant and subtle portrayal of graphic literature’s greatest facist super-vigillante,  or A Dame West, the forgotten, transgendered member of Britain’s landed gentry? Either way, baby want some of he/she’s penis. Can’t argue with that.

lee pace underwear – I must change mine now.

stds on penis – Ew.  Why? Why us?

sexy male nutcracker – Where? I want one.

martha stewart halloween – MRG is so honored that you ended up on her humble blog, whomever (that’s right) you are.

fanny white sickles – …cell anemia?

col sanders uniform You’re fucking welcome.

farewell kate winslet nudity – Yeah, those titties are goin’ back in the Disney Vault.

jamie bond the prince – Not, in fact, the youthful moniker adopted by the international spy and poon-tackler, but this guy.

homosexual romanovs – The best kind of Romanovs.

irishman banging sheep – MRG doesn’t hate the sounds of that. She’s not proud.

tudor boobs – The best kind of boobs.

ring shaped psoriasis – I MEAN REALLY.

suicide girls hella juicy – I am at a loss as to how this person got here, when they were looking for the aforementioned softcore altporn.

1920’s 1930 1940 harlot whore prostitute dancer – Was this person looking for harlot whore prostitute dancers from each of these decades or a certain one who spanned all of them?

tyra banks and his boyfriend – HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

1930’s gentleman farmer fashion – This gentleman knows where it’s at.

feather duster in vagina –  That…seems…unsanitary?

james madison president and benjamin franklin cartoon – We love few things as much as clipart. Except maybe all other things.

be your beard – Yes, and inherit the wind while you’re at it!

big pussy big ass big booty – BIG SAVINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

preteen nude pagan dance –  If by ‘preteen’ you mean ‘adult,’ by ‘nude’ you mean ‘fully clothed,’ and by ‘pagan’ you mean ‘we prefer to be called nature-spirit-revivalists,’ then yes, that’s how we dance, thanks for asking!

hemingway’s boat: everything he loved in life, and lost – A great book, b.t.dubs, but why they thought we would ever use such a legitimate source is beyond me.

subject: fw: when you marry an italian (bada bing, bada boom) – MRG resents this but it’s also probably in the inbox of at least  half of her relatives. And also probably her own.

she was a golden brown presence, burned by the tuscan sun and with a golden glint in her warm brown hair. – Is this one about Beyonce??

hello kitty anal sex – This image retrospectively ruined my childhood.

erotic paintings to put on facebook – I’m so glad you found our website.

prostitutes in santa fe nrweeee – Yes, prostitutes in Santa Fe Never Ride Without Eating Early Eggs Everyday.

profession sexfucking bulefilm – It’s a type of arthouse movie. Classic French New-Wave, you know.

sexy alexander hamilton costume – Mm. Hmm. Hmm? Not the worst idea we’ve ever heard?

carl weathers sex partners – MRG, LHB, and JAF? Hahaha what no way. Maybe?

i know monks masturbate at night, that pet cats screw, that some girls bite, and yet what can i do to set things right? — an original poem by Ernest Hemingway.

briefly describe the role of hermes in black orpheus. why do you think the filmmakers inserted him into the story – Maybe he functions as most benevolent supernatural characters in Greek mythology do: as a guide or third party that brings the main characters towards their emotional denouments and moves the plot through necessary exposition and explaination not assigned as dialogue. Or maybe you should have just watched the fucking movie before you had to write this paper.

does+lu+zhi+love+liu+bang+at+all??? – Our magic eight ball says don’t use a google search for such sensitive questions.

colin firth silly – UGH. Ugh. MRG is having a hard time keeping her pants on picturing Colin giggling.

fucking rilke – You shut your goddam mouth, the man’s a genius.  Unless you’re suggesting that we should fuck Rilke.  In which case, we’re totally on the same page.

what is the title of the movie in which a woman from spain is sent to a convent and she gets pregnant and to prevent a scandal they had to be secret about it– My, that is awfully specific. Anyone? JAF, weigh in here? It’s called Citizen Kane. -JAF

MRG, LHB, & JAF.


Our Favorite Search Term Referrals.

WordPress has this cool feature called “Site Stats.”  It shows us how many hits we get every day and how those hits were referred to our blog.  So if we get 5 hits that all came from a link we put on Facebook, Site Stats will tell us that 5 of today’s hits were referred from a link on Facebook and it will give us that link.  More interestingly, it also shows us the terms that people have typed into any given search engine that led them to For Shame!  We usually email each other what we think are the funniest search terms of the day, and  we realized that this was selfish and that we should be publishing them so that everyone can have a laugh along with us.

BOLD text is a direct quotation word for word of one of our search term referrals. Enjoy.

Oh and we’re serious about this: Mature readers only.

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fucking austria – That’s what the Serbs said in 1914.

painting vagina turkish commission

oja kodar topless

old hollywood lesbians – Which I say in my mind as “old, hollywood lesbians.”

aragon girl getting fucked

hate makes your ass look big – That’s why mine swells when I watch Kevin Costner films.

ass pirate

vagina pirate – Same person as above?  I hope so.

boulevard sex

how did pirates get sex

raunchy story – You’re in fucking luck, bitch.

horse fuck buffalo (female)

woman haveing srz with hores – Drunk search?

brazillian big ass

he was castrated and she sent to a convent

“piece of sexy” definition

big booty motswana fucking

throat fucking preteen 16 year – Holy shit.

amateur incest ass fucking – Amateur, you guys. We’re not professionals here.

effie good fucking

john ruskin pubic hair – The sad thing is that this person probably found exactly what he or she was looking for.

how drunk was faulkner – Very? Were you looking for a quantitative answer?

nude girl with big breast and vagina

how can I get a lot of bangs? – We hope that for shame! is answering this question for all of our readers.

renaissance poop bucket – LHB’s personal favorite.

bahamian facebook booty

jane seymour bitch

jane seymour pussy

national protestand church famouse recently only – I can’t believe this didn’t return more relevant results.

boy fuck his grandmother incest sex story of indian i want to read in hindi language – This person needs lessons on how to use search engines.

free son fuck mother indian peoples famous incest story i want to read in hindi language – He thought he’d avoid our website with this second search term but woops!  We got him again!

rita hayworth nipples – Yup, like every human being in history she also had them.

sam cooke world’s strongest woman – Pardon?

picture of woman fornicating with a horse – As fucked up as this is, I truly appreciate the use of a biblical euphemism for sex. This is a classy sexual deviant.

mr feeny 1776 – The person who searched this term needs to be best friends with MRG.

very sexy blue film mom handshaked his 12 years sons pannies

paintings vagina vagina “vagina” – I’m so glad that they included the third “vagina” in quotations.

hadrian the gay emperor – That was his preferred epithet after all.

lesbien girl told me im sexy on april fools – Good for you!

sass dumonde

black girl horse sex

beautiful nake body ladies sexy sex fucking own vagina – Hey, look no further. We’ve got “sexy sex” to spare.

effie dreamgirls images

blowj – I like to think that someone read “blowj” on one of our posts and then had to google the term to find out what it meant, and was redirected back to our website.

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We hope you enjoy these search terms as much as we do.  If you did enjoy this little feature, drop us a note so we are aware and we’ll be sure to keep posting the funny/borderline inappropriate ones for your reading pleasure.